


Die Gedanken Sind Frei

by ABroodyGay



Series: Hollstein Headcanons [12]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Minor Character Death, laura's mother is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 03:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4771745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABroodyGay/pseuds/ABroodyGay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Headcannon: Whenever Laura gets a bad nightmare, Carmilla sings her to sleep to make her feel better?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Die Gedanken Sind Frei

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to http://hollstein-1698.tumblr.com/

You're in the car. You're on your way to your dance school, your tutu already on, sticking up in the air a little. Your mother turns and grins at you. She's so beautiful, soft brown eyes just like yours shining with laughter. You're both singing along to a song on the radio. It's weird because you can't hear yourself sing or the song itself and then everything is slowing down. You can see the truck as it pulls out too quickly, you can see your mother's hands scrabble on the steering wheel,the shattering glass and the blood, _oh god_ , the blood is everywhere and you're screaming and _screaming_  and-

"Laura! Laura! Wake up!" Someone is shaking you and for a moment you feel disorientated. You scrabble away whimpering, feeling nauseous with the horror of it all. Carmilla backs off and waits "It's ok Laura. I'm here. You're safe." she murmurs softly her voice calm and reassuring. Suddenly you're clinging to her sobbing violently, gut wrenching sobs that rack your body. For a while you can't speak and all you can do is cry while Carmilla holds you and rocks you gently, stroking your hair.

It seems like hours before you can bring yourself to speak.

"It's...it's been ten years since my mother was...was killed. In a car crash." Her hand pauses in your hair. "I was nine and we were going to a ballet recital and a truck pulled out too fast." Your voice goes thick again and you take a deep breath so you can continue "She...she died instantly but I was trapped in the car with her for..for an hour." You feel your chest constrict with the agony as you remember screaming at her to wake up before realising there was no point. "Th-there was blood  _everywhere_ and...and I couldn't" you swallow hard "I couldn't save her."

Carmilla says nothing. In a way you're glad. You don't want pity.

"What did your mother do...when you had a nightmare...when you were a kid I mean?"

You screw your eyes shut and a few more tears escape you.

"She would sing me a lullaby until I went to sleep."

Carmilla holds you close and you melt into her as she tucks you under the covers again.

"I won't ask for the song she used to sing you...that belongs to her. I'll sing you one of my favourite songs from back home, ok?"

You nod and close your eyes. You've never heard Carmilla sing before, you slide your fingers between hers and she squeezes your hand tightly, you feel her chest move as she takes in a breath and then she begins to sing very softly in your ear.

_"Die Gedanken sind frei, wer kann sie erraten,_  
_sie fliegen vorbei wie nächtliche Schatten._  
_Kein Mensch kann sie wissen, kein Jäger erschießen_  
_mit Pulver und Blei: Die Gedanken sind frei."_

The tune is soft and lilting and Carmilla's voice is pure and sweet and you can feel your eyes slipping closed before she's reached the end of the second verse.

When you wake up in the morning, Carmilla's arms are still around you and sunlight is streaming through the window.

You think about your mother.

And you smile.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Die Gerdanken Sind Frei is a German Folk Song from the early 1800s which literally means "Thoughts are free" and is actually about freedom of speech. I thought this song suited Carmilla and the song itself does actually sound like a lullaby. Heres a link to what it sounds like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHuSktaQRuE and here is a link to the full translation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Die_Gedanken_sind_frei


End file.
